We have all had those friendships that simply stop existing. You are in each others corner one minute and not the next. Not because of any particular reason, at least not one that can be isolated and pointed out to be it. But somehow, it is not as used to be.
There are those friendships that break up because of fights, distance, mutual disinterest, loss of trust, and there are those that amidst through all this, break up for other apparent reasons.
We have all had that one friend who we only speak of in memory. We were once close and tied by a cord, Siamese twins, but now cannot look each other in the eye. And what is sad is we cannot put a reason why. There is nothing to blame which is really devastating because as human beings, we love to assign blame.
But it is okay. Many times you hear it said, ‘some people come inti your life for a certain reason at a certain season.’ Or something like that. Not everybody who makes their way into your life is destined to stay in it. God did it in such a way that at times, that person is exactly what your life needs at that moment either to bring you happiness and cheer, hope, fun and excitement, spirituality, hope and faith, positive criticism and a firm hand, but that does not mean that person should stay in your life forever. And when that season is done, and the relationship between the two of you is heavier than its worth, it is okay to take that load off. Because a friendship and a rose have a lot in common. Beautiful as a Rose is, angelic and pure with no flaw, it has got some really nasty and sharp thorns. The thing that brings life and color into your living room or garden could be the same thing that pierces/cuts you and makes you bleed if not well handled. A friendship can be the most beautiful thing. A famous quote ‘there isn’t a greater bond than that of two women who have chosen to be sisters.’ this shows clearly how deep and beautiful a friendship can be. The most nurturing and fulfilling thing. Having good friends can brighten your life and bring color into it ensuring the fire and zeal for life never fades. But certain inevitable things can happen that cause the relationship to go sour. To make you less happy and satisfied with that relationship.
But even the greatest of these friendships can dissolve. Small negligible things may add up to a point of no return where the best ting the both of you can do is keep ample distance, love from a far, wish the very best upon each other but not necessarily have to actively take part in each other’s lives. That doesn’t mean you hate each other, it simply means it’s time to let it go. Carry forward the beautiful memories you created and leave behind the messes or the stuff that is the reason you aren’t golden girls no more.
Clinging onto this kind of friendship can only serve to make you bitter and turn your indifference into hatred, which arguably is better, because it doesn’t require any emotion. You simply do not care much. In the event that your emotions are triggered once more, you can open yourself up to care. It is more positive than negative.
‘Sometimes you have to let certain people go, no matter how much was invested, no matter who did this or that. When push comes to shove and the purpose is served, it’s time to move forward. That doesn’t mean you have any hatred there, but it also doesn’t mean you have to keep someone in your life just because you care about them. Sometimes people are blind and they let their egos get the best of them. They don’t realize the things you’ve done or how much you’ve added to their lives, instead all they do is talk about how much they do for you and other people. Even if you went to the moon and back for this person/ they’re still telling everyone they went to the moon and back for you twice. It becomes more of a competition than a friendship. It’s sad, once you catch on and stop doing things for someone you’ve once done so much for, they switch up. They become angry, hurtful, spiteful, and jealous. Don’t fall into their trap. Be bigger and let go. Just remember you cannot expect a ‘Thank you’ from the unappreciative and you most certainly can’t expect a friend out of a foe’ Melissa Molomo.
That right there summarizes this entire post. Do not tie yourself to a friendship that has seized to be. It takes two and bending over backwards every time for somebody isn’t friendship. It is emotionally draining and nobody deserves that. Let it go and who knows, it could be best for both of you. Do not suffocate in the name of love and care. If you feel it’s more trouble than its worth, move on and be grateful for the time you both shared before you full on dread each other.
I don’t know about boys, but as an extremely friendly 20 something year old girl, this totally makes lots of sense.